Blog Assignment
Conflict is a negative interaction between two or more interdependent people, rooted in some actual or perceived disagreement(O"hair,p.220). The worst thing about unproductive conflict is that it does not feel good, and it has a negative impact on everyone involved or who is exposed to it. I still have a lot to learn about handling my emotions and anger when I am feeling attacked verbally . I need to step back and do active listening so I can see where this person is coming from and what are the needs behind their negativity rather than fuel the fire. Obviously they' re in their emotional brains and we can not solve any problems together while we are raging in our hurt emotions ,so getting them and myself back in our thinking brains is a great strategy through probing or verbal judo to get to the facts, and reverbing them back to them while staying clear of personal attacks. I statements are a powerful form of communication that state the facts and ones needs . I need to stay away from verbal aggressiveness and stay centered on the problem realizing that there is a need behind the conflict and it is my job to understand it. The 3R's are our pocket guide to compassionate communication.When we truly understand and use these as our tools we can survive any verbal holocaust. Unproductive conflict is upsetting and emotionally draining and it requires alot of energy, and thought, to resolve it as it is constantly playing in our brains and bodies. Unresolved unproductive communication can even cause us to have nervous breakdowns and illnesses. Learning the tools of positive intervention and communication can stop negative communication from occurring as we steer away form the rapids with our strategies . Always remember a simple," I am sorry can be very healing".
I really like your comments about the unresolved matters.This is the worse kind of conflict to me. I think it is because you constantly have a scenario in your head that plays out even when you are not around the person. This usually leads to the emotional trauma because of the constant tension. This was a really great post.
ReplyDeleteVery Good Post! I have to agree it is the worst thing any one coulf feel when dealing with a situation or a conflict, and most of the time we are negative. We as adults need to learn how to control our anger in a conflict. I like how you put the three R's our pocket guide to communication this is so true. Telling someone you are sorry for your actions can be very healing to any situation. NICE JOB!
ReplyDeleteI hate the feelings I get after having conflict, I'll even get those negative feelings after avoiding conflict. Situations like that stress me out to no end and people around me definitely notice that I am acting different. It is nice to have learned better ways of dealing with problems that will hopefully eliminate those uncomfortable and detrimental feelings.
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